Is this you?
- One of you wants more sex than the other
- You're fighting about it
- The higher-libido partner feels rejected
- The lower-libido partner feels pressured
What the research says
Esther Perel's and Emily Nagoski's work emphasizes responsive vs spontaneous desire as a key frame: lower-libido partners often have responsive desire that emerges in the right context, not absent desire.
How tantra approaches this
We do not try to make the libidos equal. We build a shared practice that respects both partners and creates context for responsive desire to emerge.
Recommended practices
- The "shared practice" agreement (beginner, ~60 min) — Establishes intimacy practice that does not require both partners to want sex at the same time.
When to see a doctor instead
If one partner has a medical libido issue, address it.