What eye-gazing actually is
Sustained mutual eye contact, usually with synchronized breath, usually for a defined duration. That is the entire practice. There is no esoteric technique. The reason it is treated as a foundational tantric practice is because most adults have never sustained eye contact with another person for more than a few seconds outside of conflict, intimidation, or sexual arousal. Doing it for ten minutes with a partner, on purpose, with no other agenda, is more rewiring than most couple workshops produce in a weekend.
The setup
Sit facing each other. Close enough that your knees nearly touch but not so close that you cannot see both eyes simultaneously. Soft lighting — a candle or lamp, not overhead lighting. Phone off. Eye contact is about to be sustained. Decide in advance: how long? Three minutes for first-timers. Five for week two. Ten for week three. Up to twenty for the experienced.
The practice itself
Set a timer. Look into your partner's left eye (some traditions specify the right; either is fine, just pick one and stay with it). Breathe slowly. Synchronize your breath with theirs if you can. Do not perform — do not stare aggressively, do not blink less than usual, do not try to convey anything. Just see. When the timer ends, do not speak immediately. Sit with what just happened for at least sixty seconds.
What will probably come up
Almost everything. Laughter. Discomfort. Tears. Sudden affection. Sudden boredom. Memories of being seen or not being seen. The urge to look away. The urge to make a joke. All of it is the practice. Do not stop early. Do not narrate it during the timer. The instruction is to stay.
Common mistakes
Looking too hard or trying to convey something. Eye-gazing is not a transmission, it is a reception. Talking afterward to make it less weird. The five minutes after are part of the practice; let them stay quiet. Doing it for too long the first time. Three minutes is plenty to start. Doing it as a sex precursor every time. Sometimes yes, often not — the practice is more durable when it is allowed to be its own thing.
When to do it
Many couples find a weekly slot and treat it like exercise. Others use it before partnered practice as a way to drop in. Some use it during difficult conversations to slow down. There is no wrong time. There is one wrong way: doing it once, deciding it was weird, and never returning. Try it three times before you decide.